Busan Metro Announcements Translated

At the escalator, please be careful, and if in the presence of a foreigner, everyone must stand still and block both sides of the escalator, to prevent the foreigner from advancing to his destination and also (simply) to annoy him, because an annoyed foreigner is a foreigner who will soon leave our nation’s holy soil and cease to sully it with the stench of his impure mongrel’s blood. If a foreigner is not present, please walk up or down the escalator in an orderly fashion.

Everyone, please make room, the subway is coming. The first ones to grab a seat will automatically win a small free black trashbag full of raw fish for the day (taekwon FUCK THAT SHIT!!). Ajummas who are left standing will be assigned to sidewalk duty and forced to scrape dried bubblegum from the sidewalk with mallets and chisels.

Do not sit next to foreigners, since all of them carry AIDS, a terrible disease which is easily transmitted through the foreigners’ cheese breath; by staring at foreigners, or by glaring at them like the vigilant defenders of the homeland that all of you are, you reduce the chance that a virtuous Korean maiden will succumb to the rascally lasciviousness of certain hairy big-nose virgin-stealing foreigners. Thank you.

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2 thoughts on “Busan Metro Announcements Translated

  1. Jennifer says:

    Yikes. Methinks you did not have a happy day on the subway 😦

    Sorry to hear it. I’ve either gotten quite good at tuning it all out or I don’t get it as bad as you. Probably a little bit of both. A good book and/or a good song on my ipod go a long way towards blocking out all the craziness, though.

    To be fair you did steal the virtue of their maidens, though. 😉

  2. Gid says:

    Nothing some tasteful neck tats can’t fix.

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